Elucidating Questions

Wanna hear about my job?

I spend all day being accused of things I did not do

My computer is constantly working against me

The pin pad will show the wrong number of things scanned

But the right subtotal

And rather than say “did you scan two of xzy?” They say “You scanned too many of xyz”

Or they’ll say something isn’t the right price when I’m in the process of changing it

I had one woman accusing me of “scanning it in at that price”

They never know how much something is so they’ll get to the payment part

Say

On card

I’ll push the button and they go

“but how much was that?”

Instead of asking me several steps ago

I have this trauma

From my dad oddly enough what a surprise

He was constantly accusing me of things I didn’t do

Blaming me for things others did

Acting like I wasn’t listening to him when I was in the middle of doing what he wanted

And now customers do it all the time

And you’d think being exposed to it would make it go away

But no

I feel trapped and unable to speak up for myself

Laugh if you will but I think rather than helping I’m just being retraumatised over and over every time I work

Trapped in a position where I have to take their attitude and behaviour towards me as they accuse me of things or trip me up and then get mad when it’s taking longer or any other number of things

I think this is exactly why I can’t speak up for myself in real life

I am a servant

I have to be good to my customer masters or I will lose my job

I have to pretend that I support the mind the brand image or else too

What kind of sick twisted company asks questions like that on a so called “employee satisfaction survey” I’m a fucking pawn

I do what I’m told

Stand where I’m told

And take the abuse for my assigned allotment of hours

Nothing creative I do sustains me

I have to work

If $1000 a month extra turned up

Great

I would probably still work a single 4 hour shift a week just to stay sane

But to have the option of just telling some customer like it is and peacing?

I am trapped

I don’t have any choice but to do this

I feel like working in service should be a choice

I wonder how many ancestors were trapped like me?

I know my Great Grand Parents were debt slaves

I wonder how long my family has been trapped in this place?

No wonder I chose not to have kids

I would never do this to a child

I know I’m the first generation that had the choice though

The abuse of my bloodline ends with me

Really it’s the only revenge I can reap on this capitalistic wasteland

No more cogs for your murder machine fuckers