Elucidating Questions

Seriously when have I ever claimed that I’m not a lot?

I would bet

Real actual money I don’t have

That I have said

In this place

I am a lot

Enough to fill a letter size piece of paper

At least

These internet people

They’re wildly uninformed

Luna we meet again

Excuses

Beautiful excuses huh?

One moment while I listen to myself scream bloody murder on the inside

I know what an excuse is

These are reasons

They’re different

And then

It just hits me that that

Was my interaction for today

Maybe you’re a lot

Yeah

Too much

People don’t want me for that exact reason

See

It’s not a fucking excuse when people don’t want me but when it’s about me living comfortably I’m making excuses

And everything that comes from me is some pretense

Right?

Fuck

That fucker had better be alive or else I’m gonna kill him

If I have to exist through this hell you all have to come with me

If I lived on the Moon I wouldn’t have the constant buzzing of unwanted interactions

And I’d never be teased again that life could be better only for it to be the same

My life is a fucking 90s show where everything always ends up the same at the end of the episode except my life doesn’t ever change to begin with

Do I even want to know

Probably not

Here I go anyways

Oh look more able bodied people expecting me to be able to cook for myself

Sigh

If I had

Like top of the line shit with timers and proper temperatures and not that ring element 80s looking 20° above or below temperature it’s burnt here and raw there bullshit

Maybe I’d try again because maybe if I forgot the pizza for 5 minutes it wouldn’t come out looking like a fucking lump of coal from Santa

And I wouldn’t be throwing out all numbers of food stuck burnt to the bottom of my pans

But, like,

Hear me out here

Maybe that 2 hours after cooking that I had to recover from cooking and would inevitably forget my food until it was cold and dry and disgusting

Actually existed

And I’m not full of shit

Is it so hard to believe because then you’d have to believe how shitty my life is?

Yeah I’m betting it’s that

Here I am

A lot

Were the 2000 odd footprints in the sand not clear enough?