Elucidating Questions

It’s not fair that you taunt me with my own suicidal thoughts

Like my inability to want to stay in this world is anything but a reflection of the world itself

Not me

I don’t know why you do this

Take things I loved and make them weapons against me

Brains are so fucking awful

You make me feel guilty for wanting to die when the only good things in my life don’t show any affection

There is none

When I sit in my chair for days

Waiting for something good to happen

Am I very selfish?

I’d like one friend and an affectionate but not sexual relationship with someone

I keep thinking maybe I misunderstood what friendship was

Maybe I want seven friends so I can talk to a different one every day of the week and then they won’t get tired of me talking to them

I feel like seven friends is more than I deserve though

Please?

Anyone

Someone

Maybe I could handle being poor if every day want spent sitting around being reminded how poor I am

I don’t know, everyone gets tired of me

Banished

When I get tired of me I sleep

That’s probably what I’m going to do when I get home

Log out of reality

Even my forever repeating dreams are better than this