Elucidating Questions

I wish there wasn’t

Wherever I did before

Impossible to know

I just wish I could write something worth reading

You know?

I wonder why I cannot shake him

He’s literally in my way

Literally

And that fucking song

But it’s true

All this affection for an image

The stupid way my heart does little butterfly effects when I see him

Literally 0 anything to keep it going

It’s a mystery

And this duality

Of the me that thinks he’s a king in a glass castle

And the me that wants to believe he’s some prince

And then I’m like well rich people are the new royalty

I just want to meet him

Once?

See if my brain is just a very good storyteller

But then I’d have to meet him and

Well that’s not happening organically

And I’m not going to manufacture it

Someday

Someday maybe I’ll know the answers to these questions

I’d already lost hope though

Everything about me is running on fumes