Elucidating Questions

Spent half my rent

You can’t understand what it’s like to not have enough

While people around you with more talk about how little they have

While seeing people spend $800 on clothes

It’s hard to understand why that person has the money to do that and I don’t

What did that person do to deserve to have enough to spend that much

While I cut back and live less and enjoy less

And this sick reliance

I have to spend money to stay sane

I have to spend money to stay sane

You don’t understand how othering it feels to be surrounded by food when you’re hungry

But you can’t eat any of it

Or to just lay in my chair all day hungry

You don’t know how hard it is to just exist

Doing the same things

Everything the same

My god

It’s awful

I need something new

And because I’m devoid of social experiences

I need something new often

Do you understand that my brain is going to turn to literal mush if I don’t keep it occupied?

It’s so hard

I can’t make life bearable and afford rent

Dear Universe

Help please

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