Elucidating Questions

It’s probably never a good time to tell your mum you’re a medium but when her daughter is dead and your Aunt is sending you messages with actual words and not just feelings you kind of have to say something right?

I don’t know if it does any good

The dead with their messages

Hermes

Haha haven’t spoken to you in a while, I know

It is a gorgeous day

Does telling my mum I recieve messages from via you du monde des morts

Does that help?

There’s a reason I don’t tell people about my very strange contract with death

One foot in the afterlife

Trying to understand messages from those who are beyond humanity now

Purposely ignoring my sister and her regret

Because if I didn’t I’d break

Damn regret

You did it now go become unhuman

Let your messages slowly make less sense

Let your nudges become those things I realise afterwards

Slowly the words become abstract feelings

And the nudges more like your will streaming through

Return to the thing that we come from

I’m aware the afterlife couldn’t be something I can comprehend

But it is there

Sometimes I fear death, even knowing that some part of me will remain

And I don’t think they disappear

But those words

They disappear

Until a moment like this

Auntie Cath am I doing okay?

I feel like I’m failing again

It’s hard to hear the things they want to say to me

Because I get in the way

Because when I hear you feel

You’re doing fine

Keep going

Always

I look around and see all around me and wonder what life they’re watching

And then again with the

出来る事限りする

I don’t even think that’s a complete Japanese sentence

Because it’s mixed with

Doing. And Good.

Separate English words

No sentence

Never a complete sentence

And me doesn’t know how to feel about that

Because me feels like every human life on this planet is my responsibility

Are they not?

Every being, plant, the planet

I should be trying to make it better

For all of them

If life was better would we need to fight over things anymore?

But my one foot in the grave

Begging him to take me back

Ferryman

Death

I don’t know if that’s why

I always heard them after all

Maybe hearing them makes me long for home

Earth has to be here for a purpose

So much potential squandered

So much potential locked below the poverty line

Not me

Maybe me

Do I tell them all the things that come to me when I see them?

Do I tell them I meet people with their ancestors watching

Something

If I’m insane so be it

It’ll just have to be