Elucidating Questions

I am having an identity crisis

I was so sure I was chaotic neutral

Only doing things that benefit me as they do and otherwise screw it

But I read the description of chaotic good

And I definitely sound more like that these days

And I know human morality can’t exactly be boiled down to D&D moralities

But I really thought I was in this for me

And me only

But then it came to this whole part where it was talking about the chaotic good person not necessarily agreeing with society

Because they want things to be good

Freedom and independence

To make every being truly free

Benevolence

I definitely hand out discounts at work like they’re free candy

Do little things to try to make the world better

I wish I could change the world

But if I’m not in this for me

Who am I here for?

Distant Blue Flame not withstanding

That’s the one place we differ

I want to know my purpose

I want to mean something to this world

What an I if not just a coward who seeks what makes me feel good?

A coward who seeks what makes others feel good?

I feel like that’s a contradiction

I wish I had the confidence I have in my dreams

I don’t know what I am, but I know I’m continuing onward

Who would have thought I’m not selfish enough to be neutral?