Elucidating Questions

When do I get to stop giving up things?

Cooking

Walking

Living

When do I get to stop having less so others have more?

Money

Transportation

Friends

Inclusion?

And I have nothing but people demand more from me

I have no energy

No understanding

And I don’t get the joke

The joke that is my life

And people coming in just like give up a little more

Do I get to laugh at this joke too or is it every other joke in the box that is the only tie I have to socialisation?

Made to feel like anything more than what I have would be selfishness

People can only have so many friends and I’m not it

And including people ruins the fun for everyone else

And do I even want to be friends with any of these traumatised adult children?

Can’t handle my own trauma

How am I supposed to handle theirs?

Not sure what I want to say just that I’m alone again

As always

Because I’m not allowed to have anything

I’m not good enough to have anything