Elucidating Questions

They say after grief things go back to normal

They act like after a suicide everyone just returns to what they were

Each suicide has changed me

Each suicide has changed my world

How I interact with it

How those victims come into my mind

I can’t be the only one with cookie cutter pieces missing

They go and I give them a piece of my heart

What a world that it was not worthy of you

It was not the other way around

And I live with not feeling right, not feeling okay

All this solitude

I’ll keep vigil on the world that didn’t value who you were

I’ll hear all the things my mind tells me and know you heard them too

Why I continue this one human march I do not know,

But I’m listening

And when I’m listening

I hear the regret

Like no one ever meant to pull the trigger

And I know, I know,

They didn’t

Because their minds tricked them into it

And the world didn’t know how to help them

Because suicide is still often seen as a failure of the victim

Even though it’s the world that didn’t keep them safe

That made all those little problems none of us wants to face

Humans weren’t meant to live like this

We weren’t

No human in our extensive history has ever worked as hard as people have been for the last hundred or so years

Except slaves

So there’s that

But it’s still seen as a failure to want out of this insanity

And it’s such a mystery why mental health issues are at an all time high

And there are still people who think it’s a fad

And those people are gross

Rest well my comrades

This night I’m missing you

Ashley, Chester, Avicii, Chester’s friend who I never remember the name of

So many others that it’s impossible to name you all

You weren’t meaningless

I hope you’re in paradise where you belonged.