Elucidating Questions

It’s four days later

It doesn’t stop

I can’t even process the death of someone I cared about because I’m busy being emotionally tortured by the horde

And everyone says just ignore it,

Just delete it,

Just this or that

But I said it and I have to own up to it

And I have to face the consequences of speaking out loud

This is a just punishment

It must be, or it wouldn’t be happening

But it only applies to me

Or something

I didn’t realise it was rejection dysphoria until I read that it existed

I wish I knew where it comes from

It feels like I’ve been this way forever

That everyone else’s opinion of me matters more than my own

Not that my opinion of me is any better

Just suffer

It’s apparently all life is good for