Elucidating Questions

You know I know I’m a terrible person,

Right universe?

You don’t have to have the masses hammer it into me

They just say the terrible things I already said about myself out loud

Sometimes I think the only thing that could make up for this life is a good, quiet, death

But usually I think I deserve to have something terrible happen to me

I never know whether my constant worry that someone is going to harm me

Is actual worry

Or my awareness that I deserve it

If this were a Hell like the Hell in Lucifer

I wonder what I’d have to do to learn any better?

Am I actually some kind of clay?

Do you have to pulverise me?

It would be nice to have some kind of map

So I didn’t have to hate myself so much