Elucidating Questions

Do you ever see someone from your past and

It’s not like you’re not happy to see them

But they’re gone and all their words were swallowed in the hole they left

A video of Chester popped up on my feed.

And I’m like happy to see his face

I miss his face

But then he says all these things about fighting and keeping on and staying ahead of the beast

That he lost against and died and the world has gone to hell

And I’m just shattered again

Wondering why you always pop up telling me to keep going in this hellscape

Wondering what I’m staying here for when it’s barely fun

Less than half the time

I suppose you’ve got your reasons

There has to be a reason these entities of what was people

Keep telling me to push on

And then a raven caws three times

And we play “sign or coincidence”

I wish there was something more to this

But just because I wish it doesn’t make it true

Whatever it is that spurns me forward

Do I owe it a debt of gratitude?

Or do I owe it all the suffering I’m doing in the prolongation of the inevitable?