Elucidating Questions

What would the world be like if you were still here?

How many kittens have died because you weren’t there to save them?

Did you welcome them on the other side of the bridge?

Your family is still broken up

I’m still broken up and I never even knew you

I wonder how Chester’s kids are doing?

Without him

The thing that I don’t get is that both of you were in positions where I assume people told you every day you were loved

Because I’m not the only one who goes around telling strangers I love them

So what possessed you?

I act like knowing what was going

On in their heads would sooth me

When it would just taunt me

It’s suicide awareness day and I

I am aware of so many suicides

I don’t know all of their names anymore but they are tattooed in my soul like my own attempts

To die

For what?

I’m lucky that somewhere something installed this doubt in me

The not knowing how it’s going to be

I wish I could transpose this program to you all

I’m certain it’s the doubt that keeps me alive

Certain that something meets me on the other side

But I am afraid of everything

I am afraid of this universe that seems to favour cruelty

So afraid that I will live, in fear of what comes next.