Elucidating Questions

What I really want is for someone to come with me and answer the questions of existence

Like why and how and where

When is inconsequential

At least I assume

Unless there was some great beam of life that came over the solar system

There are sirens wailing in the distance so I think of the end and what it could be

Once knocking on death’s door I am now afraid

I was once so content with the end I didn’t imagine what could lie beyond it

Now that I think of it it causes this visceral reaction like anxiety incarnate grips me

Maybe it’s being in survival mode all the time

But my mind reminds me often of the end

I wasn’t expecting this difference to be so wide but I can no longer understand myself

So prepared for it to be over I didn’t think of what came next

What a strange difference.

But I want those answers

What is life?

Does it only come to the most narcissistic of stars?

So desperate to be seen they create their own lookers

Perhaps the most loving?

What does it mean to be alive?

I need these answers and it seems like all other humans avoid the thought at all cost by explaining it away with fairy tales

Or they believe we simply cease to exist

I pray for anything other than nothing please

I’ll figure out the rest as I go I guess