Elucidating Questions

It’s not just pain

I’m starting to forget things again

I start forgetting things a customer just told me

Things that just came out of my mouth

I’m starting to lose my reading comprehension

Having difficulty if a customer gives me cash because I can’t count properly

When I’m at home I can feel better enough to

Mostly

Forget how disabled I really am

I might need a wheelchair

No, really, I do need a wheelchair I’m just ableistly denying I do because I don’t want to be that disabled

But I can’t afford to live without working

Without working I make $1358 a month

And my rent is currently $1100.

It’s not realistic to be as disabled as I am

Like the world was definitely not designed for me

It’s not realistic so I pretend I’m not as disabled and go to work anyways

Regardless of POTS, Myalgic encephalomyelitis, fibromyalgia, depression, anxiety

All the other things wrong with me that are symptoms of those

It’s cruel, this world

We had the wherewithal to make it better and instead we made it worse

I’m living with the consequences