Elucidating Questions

You should see what you’re missing

Hundreds of thousands of reasons you should have stayed

Besides your friends and family, whom I weep for in my heart daily

So many lives touched

I once heard suicide is a ripple

A drop in the pond

That spreads so far out into so many people you cannot fathom

I tried to kill myself even after hearing it

Now

Now I see it

Except it’s not just a ripple

I see people being pulled in like a whirlpool

Did you, in all your kindness, in all your gentleness, in all your wonderfulness, not realise this effect?

Depression is truly a nasty little monster

When all sense leaves the room I guess even your cats can’t save you

But I had nothing and I told myself if I had something it would all be easier

And I still have nothing, but I’m doing better anyways

Because damn it I will not become a was

Not until Death sneaks up behind me and covers my eyes and says

Guess who?

He’s always waiting. I feel him. I fear him. I still run to him when things get difficult

I…

How can you not be here anymore?

How can you not be here anymore?

Of every person on this planet

You?

There’s no answer of course

Depression swallowed up all of the answers when it strangled the final breath from your body decades before it was supposed to be exhaled

Chester were you there to help her?

All these people that this disease takes from us

All these ripples

Such rough seas ..