Elucidating Questions

I touched it

The mass of sadness

And it burst upon me

And now I can’t stop crying

Because I’m so alone and I don’t feel like anyone really wants me

They just put up with me until I’m gone

And I try so hard to be gone

But it’s crushing my chest

I’m so alone

I don’t even know why I care

No one wants me

Why should I want them

But this cursed want

Just somebody

Somebody that wants me

Don’t touch the big sadness

That’s what it says, there’s signs everywhere, neon lights

But I touched it

I don’t know how to talk to people

Apparently I’m not doing it right

I think I understand English but no one seems to understand me

Whoever me is

Whatever that is

Maybe it’s better not to have a sense of self

Can’t miss anyone if you don’t have a self

Maybe it’s just better to stop fighting

Just let people be as terrible as they feel like being

Maybe I should just let go of the idea of being understood by someone

Maybe I don’t deserve it