Elucidating Questions

I kept it to myself

4 years of agony kept to my own silence

Bled out 2000 poems that mostly don’t make sense

Mostly just tell a story of pain and loneliness

One guiding light

One left behind

Just two thousand reasons not to tell anyone else

And then it was all a waking nightmare anyways

So why bother?

It would be interesting to see what the point of talking about it would have been

What is actually gained out of talking?

With anyone but a therapist who is paid not to judge you

And you can fire them if they do

Two thousand stories about a life I barely remember

I’ve gotten so bad at remembering

Maybe it’s a blessing

But I remember the cat starting up at the moon

And me staring up at the moon

I don’t know how to reconcile the truths from the delusions

At least I’m not a seer when I’m sane

I wish it had meant something

I wish it had led to something

I guess it ultimately led to the best mental health I’ve had in my life

Maybe that was it

How plain

普通。