Elucidating Questions

I want to go to a place where I can heal

Where I don’t have to hear echoes of yesterday

Where I can just move forward and forget

Get over this infernal pull to him like I’m stuck in his whirlpool

Like I’m trapped in his gravity

He’s such a beautiful star

But I just want to live alongside him

Without constantly being reminded about yesterday

It’s just a few hundred days away

I’d like to move on now

Can’t we all?

Stop being so enamored with the impossible

It’s probably not as nice as it seems

I don’t want to imagine myself with him anymore

All it does is make me miss an image in my head of the perfect man who almost certainly isn’t him

God it hurts

Like a thousand thousand weights are upon me

I don’t want to talk about him anymore

I don’t want to talk about what ifs and possibilities

I just want to love him until my heart stills and finally lets me be

Even if that day is the day I leave this earth

I just want to be left to quietly love him

Fill this devoid internet with love for him

Now that I have my bearings and know what is real and what isn’t

I’m tired of saying the same thing over and over again

Just want to be able to be in a place where my love for him is all that matters

Am I selfish or tired?