Elucidating Questions

It’s all slowly sinking in

In free fall for a month or two

Hanging by my teeth

It could finally get better now

I could feel like a person again

Less like a walking talking customer service robot

That only goes home to sleep

This cautious optimism that I’ve found is new

This unknown possibility of being okay

I wonder if this is how lucky people feel all the time

I was so ready for a fight that my mind is still in high gear, ready to problem solve

Ready to jump through the many hoops of bureaucracy to get to the funding I should be entitled to

After all I am broken

But this time I didn’t have to fight

How strange to not have to fight

It just…went exactly the way you want these things to work

What?

My mind can’t handle this

Went well?

Holy high hell

The last time we tried to change our life for the better we crashed and burned so hard

2000 poems later

But this time

This time I must have done something right

That’s how it goes right?

If you do something right, good things happen?

Well that’s the way everyone else seems to do it

Maybe I did it right this time