Elucidating Questions

Do you ever just get the feeling like

You’re not human?

Like maybe you’re a genetic anomaly that doesn’t qualify as human

Like maybe you’re a robot that just pretends to be human

Like maybe the humans don’t speak the same language as you do and that’s why they don’t understand you

Like maybe you’re the first of your species and the last of your species

Because fuck reproducing in the human-suit

They’re not like me

That song by Phil Collins

Yes, I want to know, please show me, these people are ridiculous!

But no they’re not strangers like me

They’re all so very unlike me

So terrifyingly unlike me that sometimes I stare in the mirror and stare and stare and try to be the person staring from behind the eyes in the reflection

In the reflection that isn’t me

How can I be in the same shape but entirely different?

You know how everyone’s God is different?

My god…

My god(s) is/are the only one(s) that understand(s) me

And I’m not even sure they exist

I feel so alone