Elucidating Questions

I have this feeling like I want to say something

But I don’t know what it is

Something life changing?

Am I frustrated with someone?

What do I want to say?

I feel like if I say it nothing will happen

Maybe I just want to say I’m lonely again

Maybe I just want to feel reassured

Try not to feel like a failure at 30

Needing to be reassured

Like a child

Will parts of me always be a child?

Like I’m stuck simultaneously between adulthood and a wide eyed brand new human.

What if what I want to say doesn’t have words?

Like how I’m feeling right now

Very half…sideways… overwhelmed…

Or something similar if there is a word for that.

And I want someone to notice and

I feel so awful asking for help

But help…

Maybe I have so many things to say they’re getting stuck in the bottleneck of my voice

Which doesn’t come out because there’s so much

Too much

To say