Elucidating Questions

I want to tell you about

How terrifying it is

Starting new relationships

What ifs and what is

And terrified he’ll break and it really is my fault and he’ll

Well if I get lucky twice he’ll assault me

And if not I could die

I never considered that another human could just

Just kill me

And yes I just went from possible new relationship to murder

It’s not a jump

It’s a mere step away

Hello, nice to meet you

Twelve months later boom

Dead

Or assaulted

And alone again

Is that how it goes?

Did “pay attention to Paul” mean something else?

Was it just a crazy coke fuelled- well crack fuelled dream?

It’s so disconcerting to never know whether

Is it prophetic? Am I delusional?

That one was prophetic but, if I pay attention to it, does it cancel out the prephetic-ness like saying your wish outloud?

I don’t want to die

Despite… Well there’s 2000 poems behind me here and many say otherwise but

Nope I don’t want to die

Is it pay attention as in avoid at all costs or pay attention as in give him all your attention?

I suppose we’ll find out

The die has been cast