Elucidating Questions

I feel so all alone

My mum is there but she’s not here

I don’t know if I have any friends

There’s no one rushing when I say I need someone

Best friend?

My last best friend kicked me out of her entire family over a couple hundred dollars and my mental health not living up to her expectations

I don’t trust anyone

So how can I have a friend?

A relationship for a time

But a friend

Why am I all alone on this planet?

Why do I feel like a star?

Like a great space exists between myself and others

But they all look so close together

In the sky I look up and they seem to be so close why am I so far?

A star that no one knows

Perhaps I burned out long ago

The feelings just don’t flow

Caught inside and can’t let go

So many fucking times

They just up and leave and I’m left holding the string wondering was it them or fate and who gave them the fucking scissors anyways?

It’s just goodbyes in the end

Why bother saying hello?

Victim complex

Then stop being terrible people it’s not my fucking fault you did this to me

God I wish I could be alone and not tormented by everyone else being together

And then having the gall to cry about how they’re all alone

Oh brb just let me talk to the twenty people who want to talk to me today

Okay fine you’re not alone

You’re lonely.

Check the difference.

一人 and 寂しい

Note one says ONE PERSON and the other says lonely.

Congratulations you’re just being ungrateful for everything you have try counting your blessings and realising how fucking lucky you are to have people

To say hello to

Maybe you’re just so fucking lucky you don’t even have to say goodbye to all of them

I’m alone here because no one can stand me

Because I can’t stand myself

People would flock to me if I was worth their time of day but they don’t so

So

So so.

Living in isolation with access to people doing their jobs

But only the ones paid to spend time with you stick around

Yeah I’m lonely

And I’m all alone