I wonder if I came alone
Never found my people
Just people
They all go by the way side
Different directions
Different paths
Faded away
Never
Sssynced
Up
Maybe I’m alone
Alone
Alonly the lonely survive
The guitar cries
Maybe I survive
Says the siren
Sings the song
Never close enough
Close enough
Maybe I’m alone
Alone, try living in a desert like a hermit where nobody talks to you ever and nobody ever reads your goddam blog, even. Maybe you are just a tardy cicada: https://mmpmagicmodernizationproject.com/tardy-cicada/ Magic Mage girl. I’d pay you $20 for a five minute phone call! $50 for a 20 minute vidoconference. Being truly alone almost ALL the time, now that is an opportunity to really clear your mind, and figure out just how crazy you really are, and either accept that or undertake to change it. I am serious about wanting to talk to you, you strange blue-haired something.
now this just happened, right before my phone notified me of your reply. I am sitting in my truck with the door open, working on an index, when a little bird flies in and lands on my leg, startling me. How did you do that? I wished I hadn’t scared the bird away, I felt a sense of loss as it flew, since I really would have liked for it to linger for a while, there on my leg. Now there are other explanations, but still, have you ever had a little bird land on you?
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Anyway, fuck loneliness, it’s your universe, you set it up to be this way, and then you forgot why. Or so I would have you believe. I sometimes wonder if some past lover who I left behind cursed me, and I guess I deserve it, and anyway I really need to be a brahmacarya hermit for my spiritual path demands it, so I should be thankful for the curse. Some little tender swelling in my brain keeps trying to remind me that I’m a man and need social interaction in order to be whatever and sex in order to be whatever, and so I’m always lonely and horny, but fuck all that, thank god for the internet and digital representations of what might be other people who I can only interact with in comments. So clean so boring so stupid. I shall, someday, go up into the mountains, I think, and throw the computer off the highest peak.
Elucidating Questions 
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