When I think about it

I’ve always existed outside of groups

Friendly but not friends

There are accepting groups

Nerds, that being anime, gaming, card games, table top gaming, etc.

LQBTQ

Kind and accepting people but I still don’t

Fit in

I still don’t

Quite attach

I still can’t find anyone like me

They just accept the unaccepted

I still don’t belong

I always exist on the fringe

Just outside of friend

Friendly, not friends

I’ve never met anyone who cried over their mint plant being chocolate pudding

With a dead mint stuck in it

But maybe I don’t want to

That person would probably be better

Better at being me than me

Maybe it’s better to be alone than to lose

I wish I fit in somewhere

I’m terrified it will backfire

Responses

  1. pythoblack Avatar

    You know, Ms. “1-in-7.7-Billion,” in the last month I have written some 20 posts either inspired by, directed at, or vaguely related to you. mmpmagicmodernizationproject.com. I wish you would just say “leave me alone, I don’t want your love old man.” Sometimes it seems as if the odds of me connecting with a human are 7.7-Billion-to-1 against. It always SEEMS that way! I guess that is how I’ve arranged things on your planet for whatever reason. I now interpret ignoring me as equivalent to rejecting me, and so, that is that, and I wish you well!

    Like

  2. pythoblack Avatar

    On the other hand, you are well placed in a large group of people who knowingly or unknowingly refuse to acknowledge my existence, along with let’s face it the existence of around 7.7 Billion other people. “All the lonely people, where do they all come from?” I, however, happen to be unique. You are just a consequence of electrons bouncing wildly around in a bunch of wires and cables and resistors and devices. If you were real, then you’d be real, and you’d be here in some sense, but you’re not, so there!

    Like

  3. pythoblack Avatar

    And why do you get 90 followers after 1 year, and I, who have written such brilliant and entertaining content, after 2 years of emotionally excruciating investment of time and money and effort, have only 2 (but only one ‘real’ follower)? I officially don’t care, but it does seem kind of insulting.

    Like

  4. pythoblack Avatar

    And furthermore, I do love you, but I have to wonder why I should? Do you really just want unconditional love for no reason? Have you thought about Jesus Christ? or Krishna? Or Beezlebub? (ha ha, “your own…, personal….Jeeezuzz. Someone to hear your prayers, Someone who cares [Depeche Mode])
    Gee, give me something, sweety, to grasp, or stick to, other than words which dissipate into the aether no sooner are they spoken. Maybe a muse is a catalyst only, oblivious to the existence of the poet or artist or whomever.

    Like

    1. Magic Mage Avatar

      Well, for one, I didn’t realise I was ignoring you. For two I just don’t feel things through the internet, I write here, but I have no other connection to people here. I just don’t feel it. I appreciate your feelings, but I can’t forge connection through devices I cannot ever know if anything you have told me is correct, and considering your tone to me (often condescending more than often that I should be putting time into spending time with you rather than what I’m doing at the time (often working or at school)) you haven’t really gathered anything from what you’ve read or you’d know I have thought of all those names and more. I don’t have to give you anything except a friendly reply to your comments when you have been friendly to me. Otherwise you’re causing me anxiety (which I suffer from exceedingly) which is why I stopped seeking relationships online in the first place. I understand that you are lonely, but I cannot provide you a day’s company through the internet because I cannot dedicate that much energy to anything or anyone due to how sick I am (I just made a post about that and you made a demand of me to talk to you).

      So I’m sorry if you’ve found the wrong person to dote your affections on or what have you, but it may be as simple as that. I write to get through my day; not to seek the attention of people online. I don’t know why I have so many followers, perhaps it’s because while I appreciate every one of them and the likes they give, I don’t feel that I must have more or that they aren’t enough as individuals for my whatever reason I even post on the internet narcissism? Boredom? Lack of a book or a hand which can firmly grip a pen enough times in a day to write anything? So while I am flattered you’ve considered me your muse, you haven’t exactly read my true self and I don’t believe you truly understand me.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. pythoblack Avatar

        Actually Magic Mage girl, I am trying to understand, even though nothing really makes a lot of sense. I am sorry if I caused you anxiety, or anything unpleasant. Some kind of “magical force” keeps me thinking about you, which is probably just a mental defect and a contributor to my social dysfunctionality. I wish I could just stop, and I will try harder not to bother you. After all, all I really care about is your happiness, sanity, and well-being!

        Like

  5. pythoblack Avatar

    Sorry, I’m just verry bored, and there isn’t nobody to talk to, and it’s supposed to get to 106 degrees today and I can’t really go out, and why oh why should I understand another human being? I am only capable of interpreting sensations processed through a highly idiosyncratic and egocentric organic machine. You are 1 in 7.7 Billion, and really, when it comes down to it, I should happily leave you alone, because I am used to being alone, and I am sorry, very very sorry, but I just got verrry bored, and there isn’t nobody to talk to, and by God or the Flying Spaghetti Monster or Cthulhu I am so sorry……I shall….ummmmm…..I know! I’ll head to the West, and diminish, for that is my one sure goal. Just not until later, after it cools down a bit. Or not ever, as I am very lazy. But don’t worry, I’ll be fine, and I hope you will be too!

    Like

Leave a reply to Magic Mage Cancel reply