Elucidating Questions

It’s better than it was it’s something else

Something else so there’s no need to think of it or worry

I wish I could stop thinking about this disgusting fantasy

I wish you could hear my father say disgusting so you know what I hear

All British disappointment and

Dripped in poison

I wish I could stop finding myself thinking of him and thinking we would be together

Or even talking

Or even thinking of him

I wish I could stop it drop it roll it

And then smoke it away like I wish I could drink it away

Like I wish doing all these drugs made it actually disappear

Seeing him and missing him and knowing she is out there missing him and she actually gets to stop missing him someday

How my mind can’t handle how my heart hurts silently wishing them all the best through the tears I stopped shedding

When my heart stopped beating

When I stopped speaking

With my heart