Elucidating Questions

Unlearning

The Queen said,

Fat, and unlucky. Terrible cook. Troublesome.

The things I have to do for you

And

Friendly reminder: Your being brings bad luck to those around you, making their lives worse.

The worst part is if I had told her she would have told me

Well, you agree

Of course I did I have the self-esteem of a rock thrown from the beach into the ocean forced to live among rocks I hadn’t seen for thousands of years that were once a part of me but don’t seem to be the same as me at all.

Sometimes I remember we’re all a part of the same

Distant

Bacterial ancestor

Sometimes people tell me I’ve improved their lives

And I don’t believe it because she told me

Every time something went wrong

It was either my bad luck, or her husband’s, which created the mishappening.

Its the little things we do that scar those around us

She was always criticising her breasts and despite the fact that I like them and voiced that often her own self hurting turned in and in her mind it was me who created it

Despite the fact that she used to bully me incessantly about being “flat as a board” and the various inbetweens.

Unlearning

Not going back to those times for advice or understanding because I know they lie

They all lie

Her and her clan

That I was unceremoniously removed from

Realising that trust is something given easily

And slowly but surely whittled away until it is a sharp stake

Which turns on its owner

And stabs directly into the chest

If I was a vampire this would be the fatal blow,

However since I am human I am immune.

Or so they say.