Elucidating Questions

Every second since the second

Has been the clock tolling with laughter at my expense

I don’t miss the optimism

I don’t miss the thinking something was about to happen

Change

Be good for once

I don’t miss the disappointment

I don’t miss

I miss you but it’s fleeting in moments

That I can’t grab hold of or the pain so I spend most days

Filling every moment of you with

Pointed disassociation

All of them

All of them

You should try it

Hermes says it’s great

The madness the madness the madness

Oh no you don’t

Funny that he’s happy this way.

Funny he’s complaining but he’s not actually wanting to be saved.

Funny that I tried.

It’s not fair that I stand here missing everything

I’m missing everything and

I suppose it’s just unfortunate

There’s nothing I can do and I’m no one

At least he’s happy being how it is so

At least he still has enough self to wish someone’s there

Or someone’s.not

Rather than simply endure their forever half existence in your life like a great idea you never said out loud that tries again slightly different every once in a while

Or all day every day

But it’s a game of catch

Or don’t catch on purpose

So I guess I dropped it

But I can’t stand this anymore

It hurts me to see you hurting but you’re hurting just fine over there and that’s totally fine with you as long as you can complain about it and I totally get that but I

There is nothing more maddening than watching or listening to someone hurting but being so incapable of helping