Elucidating Questions

No one owes me time, friendship

Those things I gave away without asking what their value was.

Worthless, I am.

No one owes me proximity

Hours

Hours and hours and it’s

It is how it is

So stop crying

I had a dream I saw an owl in a tree

The blue light flickered in and out never quite there

I woke up

Now what is this?

This again.

This place

I should be grateful and happy and not complain because I have a home and a job

They took winter away from me

I was forced to help simply by existing

The blood of my favourite is on my hands too

Why am I still here

I think I’m going to throw up

There is no parting only being alone is such

Empty endless nothing to spend the day trying to make it go away only to find there’s another to follow

Endless hopeless wishings that go unheard without the well to listen even if it did they fire back like missiles like bullets like an arrow shot from afar

Don’t tempt me into hope that doesn’t exist

What could be a more frightening thing than

Knowing even a hope is just the silence winking back

Watching the disappearing back of

A friend?

They don’t last long

I can’t fit the label on it’s a lie

Friendship never ends

Is a lie

It just does

You just disappear

You’re just not important enough to be seen

Recognised

Or a cursory message

But that’s it

That’s what you get.

Welcome to the digital age may you never see anyone again because it’s just so much more convenient to

Hi

<“Conversation”>

Bye

Than be in the same room as you just don’t take it personally

Everyone else likes it you’re the problem

You’re the problem

Why are you crying?

You’re the fucking problem.