Elucidating Questions

It echoes

Tonight?

Alone.

Tonight?

Alone.

Radio silence or I suppose

Just silence in general

Tonight?

Alone.

With the rain pouring down doing my nightly thing

Lonely

That is, begging to just go to sleep

Just go to sleep.

And that’s the end.

Is there a possibility I just wouldn’t even

Be able to find a better tomorrow because I’m too selfish and awful

Of course there is

Within every probability there is an infinitesimal chance of complete and utter failure

You say I’m a pessimist and you’re the realist but math says otherwise apparently

There’s literally always a possibility of something going wrong horribly, creatively, or, alternatively, spectacularly.

I can’t find where I belong because I don’t remember what it feels like to belong.

I don’t know how.

Why don’t I ever heal?

Why does it just lie like an open wound waiting for something to infect it?

Why am I still making a fool of myself over some dude I’ve never met and crying myself to sleep over him and some dude who just wants to fuck me once a month and then put me back in my cage?

Waxing disgusting poetic bullshit

Looking like an idiot

I wish I’d never started writing