Elucidating Questions

I wish I didn’t want to change the world

That I could just leave it as is instead of looking at it and

Staying awake worrying about strangers in places I never will never be in.

I wish that someone would come along and make it so that all of this could just go away

I wish I could forget you

I wish I didn’t have to wake up every morning

And check my phone to see if I still don’t exist

I still don’t exist

I wish I had one reason to love myself

I wish that reason was you

I wish you’d come before I was in too deep over my head overwhelmed

I can’t believe until you’re here and if I know these

Assholes and their secret rules and their catch twenty-twos

And their

It’s a rule like I have to love myself before I get to love you or see you or feel you or know you

Of you

I don’t even know of you

I was so wrong

I was so wrong again and again

I just wanted something to be right

Even a broken clock

For sure for sure

But it’s not right either is it?

I don’t want to change the world the world scares me

People scare me

But

How will you ever know me if I’m invisible

And how will I ever know you if I don’t have a reason to love myself?

I’m so tired of these rules and these games and these promises

Truth or dare?

Did you ever even think that it was going to work?

You’re going to have to be more specific

Did you really fucking think that all of these things that have happened that keep pushing me and pushing me

Were really going to work when the pushed is invisible and nothing

Sometimes I think

Apollo loved me and you got jealous so you started

No

Fallout fallout fallout

I don’t get it

I feel like the most useless and unnecessary guardian ever to exist

So you want me to stand here and watch them?

I don’t understand

What have we determined

There’s more than one

They’re less uncommon than previously believed

This world kills them these days before they reach their full potential

In this world they kill themselves these days

Echo Echo Echo

Irony

He folds like a bad hand and mutters with his head in both of them

Why would they want to live though?

What good are they?

Stop looking at me like I should know the answers because you’ve proven nothing and I want you to stay away from all of them

So tell me now did you even think it would work?

What good am I alive?

Strung up waiting for the day I die.