Elucidating Questions

I keep thinking I will regret the day I have to apologise for feeling like this not because I feel better but because

Someone thinks I’m trying to fight them when I’m fighting the world around me

I slowly go insane in the inane

The pain

The quiet

The it’s here it’s gone

A moment I’ll remember

That isn’t some suggested bullshit

Something real

Something that means something instead of watching my cognition stitch together days because there has to be.

A reason?

But the moment when I go above it all and I just need to be free of all this

Be able to feel like I can exist without needles in my palms

I’ve probably forgotten something stupid and there’s a reason someone should be mad at me when I’m just writing this

Stupid

Neverending

Reel

Every once in a while

Just so. I can see, that everything doesn’t always just exist inside me

While this nightmare plays.