Elucidating Questions

I thought I heard a man crying

Just the wind just the wind carrying

Don’t you be crying now don’t be crying

Unless it hurts and you wish you could keep going but it hurts

And you know you’re going to live

And how disappointing

I see you in the background whispering while your hand lies upon under my chin with no malice

No I really just am to the point where I’m envious

If all the bad people get to die

Why don’t I?

Don’t answer.

Don’t you dare answer.

Because even if it’s true then me you me you me you and no

And no there’s nothing else here but the wish to be anywhere else but here

But I know I have no anywhere else to go

And if I have to stay here day after day year after year in this life I do not want to live that never quite gives me a reason to live it

This is a good place and I think I’m safe and I love these people who I am living under

I’m very grateful to have found this place

If this is the life I have to live I have found a place I would like to stay

I just wonder how I could have possibly made enough bad karma in the world to have everything that led up to it happen

And I’m not even behind bars and wanting to be free

Wouldn’t it just be easier to be back in jail?

Staring out the classroom windows

Following the tolling bells

I mean really

Regardless

I didn’t do well with that either so I’m just impossible and awful either way

It’s too far to run from

It’s too close to be sure

It’s how I would rather be any place but on Earth.