Elucidating Questions

You said there was no way I could like it

But I dream about it

I dream about having it in my mouth

I dream about it inside me

But I dream about it sliding down my throat

I dream about sucking lazily

I dream about hip thrusts and sharp exhales and the sounds that you or he or whoever would make

I think you’re wrong.

I used to dream about it before it had even happened for the first time

My mind knew already how it felt

I often wonder why

But I sigh

Because now the dreams cause an uncomfortable awakening.

You’re the only one I’ve had and I don’t think of the dreams as being anyone but you unless they are but then

It’s always the same why do I have to dream of this I just want it to go away and let me be

I enjoyed it

I enjoy it

You were wrong but

Where does that leave me?

An empty morning

Numbed with a sigh

Because every morning

I know it’s a lie.