Elucidating Questions

But if I love you then I love myself because at the end of the day I’m still alone here and all the proof in the world doesn’t change that the room is empty now.

If I am alone and there are no nails biting into my back and the weight of them drags me down and it’s just my own mind

Am I even allowed to love myself?

Am I even supposed to?

Because the me who I am isn’t

What people seem to want.

Yes I did have a good time.

As soon as I got back and put on the headphones

The week was playing back

Do you understand?

Either Spotify is listening or my phone is listening or something happened to make it all those songs

Every word that came out

Every song I queued in my mind somehow

I don’t know

Michael Buble would not leave me the fuck alone.

Who the fuck does Michael Buble think he is anyways?

First he’s there and then he’s there and then oh here’s a concert and there he is some more I have no idea he was fucking everywhere

Christ almighty he was everywhere

Christmas is so pretty though

But we saw it

Those who had not

Having not

I wish I could just give houses away to people.

Build houses

And give them to people

So that they would never have to be hidden in doorways

Covered in layers of umbrella tarp tent sleeping bag

Blanket

Blanket

Blanket

It was so fucking cold what about them?

In the harm that events like this cause

You see

Of course you don’t see but I wish someone did

Because I miss him

Can’t I just see him?

One time?

Please?

So I can keep going so I can keep finding someone to talk to can’t I just

I need it

I need it so badly I can’t imagine needing anything else more than I need this

The only thing on earth I can’t run away from

My story

Did you hear him?

He said

So you have questions

Yes.

I have a lot of fucking questions dip shit mcgee so let’s start with this

Let’s see how we’ll land on the lands but just this

Is he alive?