Elucidating Questions

The phone rings

It’s never anything.

Back in February when I was sitting by the phone thinking

He will call at any minute

Bouncing

Excited

Anxious in the good way

期待してる

A word I’m missing

Expectant?

I don’t know why I believed it

I don’t know why

I don’t know why all of my written things hidden in the hard drive

Why they start about him again

December

I don’t remember

January

Want to come to Hedley?

Because he wouldn’t and I didn’t want to go alone and I wanted to show you a good time like you showed me

Shut up

It’s the balance thing.

The balance thing you never fucking read.

You never read any of it.

Why?

No, nevermind.

It gets me every time

604

Is it?

No.

He’s probably 778 or some special “I’m famous” area code like 666 or fuck you that’s 3825 968

Automated voice call

Hello,

I heard you wanted someone to call you,

So the universe set up this automated call

Press one to speak to no one, and give your money to a scammer.

At least someone called you.

You should be grateful someone

Called you

Even if it was just a little machine.

You’re wrong

604

You’re wrong

You don’t get what you give I have no reason to live I don’t want to keep holding on me not being here works out perfectly because then no one will ever have to see me

And I

Won’t need anyone to see.

And he will still be in Mexico

And I will still be here

That he’s there

And I’m here

I won’t forget it ever.

604

Dead light wars.

So Star Wars.

I wish I wasn’t going home to cry myself to sleep.

All the music keeps picking on me mommy

I just want someone to be nice to me

Someone who I’m not afraid of

I know

I know that’s too much to ask

I’m sorry.

I’m such a selfish rotten child.