Elucidating Questions

I have nothing left to hold on to

He let go and I just watch as I try

Try to make my arms move but it’s cold

Cold and I drift

Falling beneath the waves I barely notice the water

Filling inhaling

There’s nothing to hold on to

There’s nothing to stop me from sinking

Falling slowly down but it never ends it just goes

Deeper

When my head was above water I wanted to help others find the surface as well but I

Stopped being able to tread in my own head I’m falling deeper into this

Whatever it is

I still wish I was dead

But what’s the point I’m already in pain why should have have to go through more to die

Either way I will feel the pain through life itself or the knife

I may as well just wait for it

As the moments fade away into nothing

As my life fades away into nothing

And my mind doesn’t bother to remember the daily existence of nothing

Hours days weeks months

A year

And then years and then decades and then maybe

Maybe finally when I’ve been forced to exist as nothing with nothing and nothing to make it worth any of it

Maybe finally my body will have mercy on me

And I won’t have to hurt anymore