Elucidating Questions

Waking

They will fade into nothing

As I have

Lost in a world where

There’s no you

Without I wander

Through my own home just trying to kill the time

I don’t want to try again to find you

I don’t want to try again to only see you turn away in disgust

That my you isn’t looking for me

Isn’t waiting for me

Isn’t searching for me

The you that I hold on to

That holds on to me

The you who would watch me play or play and I’d watch

Or cooking together

There’s no you whose gravity pulls me across the room to hide against your chest and hear your heart beating

Thrumming with the life I cherish so much

That doesn’t exist

There’s no you to look over at any time day or night and say

Let’s go for a walk

There’s no you to go for a drive

There’s no you to playfully banter back and forth

There’s no you

There’s no quiet nights when it has you tight and you just need me close to keep it right or vice versa

No you.

There’s no you.

There’s no singing along to songs that are lies but we try to make them real for once

A love that lasts and stays true every day

Because there’s no you

Waking

Alone in a room surrounded by nothing

Wrapped in nothing

No you

Through tears and desperation

Through longing and yearning that pierces my chest and takes hold, a poisoned arrow

There is no you

The thought

Of finding you only to have you discard me disqualify me turn away from me desert me

Makes me realise that none of it was worth it

That I am here alone

And that you’re not here