Elucidating Questions

All I remember well is they were so quiet and empty

Those years always on edge

Always expecting the walking into a wall or the

Watching everything spinning so out of control

Now I have those hours which I craved because I knew they could be over

In a second

And it so often was and I feel like I’m in free fall

Not free falling just

Dropping

Falling forever into nothing at all wishes drop around as in pebbles they fall

I think I decided to jump

I can’t deny but now I wonder

I wonder if I’ll ever get to go home

If only I could afford to get away from this place

I’d just go somewhere and say

If only’s aren’t wishes

They are possible just not now

Just not now

Now is another night I go alone in the nothing of the fall

I dream of you every night

I love you you know.

I love you.

You’re beautiful

And no matter what no matter what comes out of my mouth when I can’t stop the vile sadness from blotting out

A moment I wanted to share with you

A second I wished you were there

Moments of endless waiting

Always waiting

Always just sort of hoping this time it will be real.

Every day midnight comes closer

And I hate the sound of the bells ringing again

Two things which I sought out to find

Two things which I did not

Strike three I’m out I can’t stay in there’s no game I can’t lose

If I could find something

Somewhere

I wonder how it would feel to be

There