Elucidating Questions

How many more times am I going to look at my phone hoping?

How many more times will I have to find myself in the middle of imagining him

Only to remember I’ll never see him again

How much longer do I have to miss talking to him before my mind reminds me it was all worthless

And I remember not to

Loveless was the one after all I didn’t want it to be,

Because I was afraid to be without love

But I don’t have it

Can’t keep it

I’m afraid of it because someday it’ll be used against me

How much longer?

I’m just sad

It’s nothing serious

It won’t matter in the end

I’d rather feel nothing

And drink another glass

January is when I’ll start with rum in the flask.