Elucidating Questions

It has made me feel invisible

Unimportant

Unnecessary

Your silence has blanketed over every word I wrote

And made it all feel like

Every piece of my heart that I wrote down for you

Wasn’t good enough for you

Your silence has made me fill in the blanks

For 300 days.

I don’t know when if you saw me

I have to grapple with the possibility of any possibility

Your silence made me feel like I was trying to manipulate you when all I was trying to do was get your approval

Your silence took the albums I used to lean on for support because I

Have

No one

And I don’t even know why

You won’t even tell me why you won’t tell me no you won’t tell me go you won’t tell me

I will linger here I will

Going around in circles because I have no answers

I gave you everything

My secrets my shame my heart my soul my life my coping mechanisms my everything

Just trying to make you see me and it feels like not one piece of my entire life is worthy of you because you don’t even have to blink in my general direction

But you could have

Because some people are special

But I’m not

I don’t belong here.

I don’t belong here.