Elucidating Questions

Dear me from the beginning of the year

You’re still alone on Halloween.

It doesn’t matter who you love or how much love you offer

By April it’s clear everyone is gone

By May you’re all alone

You stay alone except seeing one person or another person

Feather’s wedding is beautiful the baby is beautiful

You are alone

So what of all this reality you’ve figured out how fucked up this world is how much you tried to impress him and give him something

Anything

What a waste of time this entire year has been

I wish I had never woken up on January 6th.

I wish I never had to wake up again

I wish I never had to do anything ever again

I want to be dead long ago and never have to live through any of this

No one loves you

No matter how hard you try no one loves you

You can be nice or be mean or say how much pain you’re in or beg for help or beg for someone to see you but they won’t want you

They’ll never love you

Dear me who woke up in January thinking something big was going to happen

You’re a fucking idiot and you ruined my life

I wish I had died

I don’t want to do this anymore