Elucidating Questions

You’re wrong

It’s so easy to slip back into normal

It’s like a skin I put back on

I’m a completely rational person

It’s awful

Somewhere in this mess is a normal

Normal

No

Just

The normal skin is like

Briar’s a pretty quiet extremely sarcastic occasionally high strung and often a bit strange individual

But I understand this society I didn’t ask to be a part of

I just…

Can’t miss it

The planets are

Something?

I always find them.

So much…

It’s so tangled in every day life it doesn’t surprise me that no one sees it who would want to?

It’s so terrible like this it’s like

I just wish you could see how…

How tired I am of this

I love you so much it’s not a lie

Weird shit has happened but I thought

If I remember correctly I thought that it was the signs that I was supposed to get to you and do

Something

Don’t know what don’t know why just needed something to explain the fucked up shit that was happening

Every day

Nothing happened though

I’m not insane

I know it was out of left field or whatever a surprise like where the fuck did I come from

I feel awful for even involving you like holy hell

I love you I don’t want to hurt you or make your life harder

You obviously already have shit to deal with

That’s why I tried to get rid of all the things that were “wrong” with me from the start because I want to be…

I want to be what you need and want and love

It’s not even a little bit easy to do all of this with stuff like this happening

I’d been playing this game and seeing the words in it and being like

Wow this seems like it’s making fun of me

The words were in perfect order and they related

You know they’re not all the same

My head can’t handle all the little things

I forget them because it’s just too hard to grasp

But everyone else is getting drunk every night because so and so doesn’t love them

I’m getting drunk every night because I can’t fucking handle this

How fucking weird shit is

And I know

I’ve said several times in my moments “it’s getting weirder”

But I can handle weird

I just can’t handle weird with him as the scapegoat

Or the thing that ties it all together

I was trying to ignore the words

That’s why I started writing

Because they were hurting me

And then the stuff with

I’m waiting

It’s happened like this before so many times and it just fades away and goes back to normal

Like you know those books that build up to some big epic climax and instead the entire end of the book is like a wet rag that got left on the floor over night and you loved the rest of the book so you’re like

Okay

This is like that except I’ve hated this book since the second I started it and I thought something good would happen because shit was so fucking weird

And it just doesn’t happen so I’ll get over it

Leave me to scream and cry for a week

I’ll get over it