Elucidating Questions

I just want to scream

I want to scream until my lungs have burst and my throat is raw

Fuck

FUCK

FUCK

Trapped in this nothing box

Can’t do anything

I’ll never have an answer to all this fucked up shit

He’s a fucking coward who will never love me

He

I don’t know anything about him

I can only assume all the things he’s written are lies and that he’s nothing special and he probably just thinks this is some fucked up person who’s fucking with him

Or he doesn’t care because he’s heartless so who the fuck cares anyways it won’t get any better and all the fucking things that happen every day

They’ll keep happening

And I’ll have to live with wanting to see him but I can’t handle it

I can’t handle the synchronised times or the words that trick me then seem to relate

I already miss him and he probably hasn’t even posted anything because he fucking hates me because of who fucking knows why I don’t know

I can’t apologise enough so who fucking cares it’ll never matter how much I apologise and the entire world is just going to keep being fucked up

And I still have to do it all alone

Because no one will ever fucking believe me

I have no one to talk to and no one talking to me about the one thing that makes me want to die every day

This hasn’t ever happened to anyone else before

No one has a fucking clue what I’m going through

And I don’t even fucking know what causes it

I’m just fucking guessing

I’m fucking guessing about what is fucking with me so totally every fucking day this that and the other

What a fucking joke

I don’t even care who or what this is

Three nasty old women

One nasty old man

One nasty old universe

What ever it is it’s hell.

This is hell.

I’m in hell.

And no one even fucking knows.

But that’s how it fucking goes.

Isn’t it?

Bitch.