Elucidating Questions

I’m just so tired of all of it

All this shit I can’t explain

All these fucking coincidences

I’m so tired of looking like I’m trying to be manipulating

Or like I’m trying to guilt him

Or like I’m just fucking insane

I’m so fucking tired of this

All that ever had to happen was a single

Fucking

Two letter word

And all of the coincidences would have been ignoreable.

Now it’s like

Wow you’re literally laughing in my face eh?

Reality

Something

Fat

Eat

I don’t want to eat because I’m fat

I know I’m ugly because I’m fat

Fate

Fated

And then feed

And then I started writing and I finished and said

Well?

I’m waiting!

And he fucking posted.

On his Twitter feed.

Haha.

Get it?

Hahaha.

HAHAHA.

I was doing fine.

I was crying and sad and lonely and I wanted to die but I was back to looking saner and I could just ignore all the shit

But I’m bored

I’m done

I’m tired of this fucking useless reality that fucks with me in ways that no one will ever understand that I can’t explain

That I have to keep inside and fucking pretend my day went the same as every fucking boring existence on this planet

While every word is a joke at my expense and then I get him thrown in my face again like

Oh my god is it meant to be we’re writing at the same time and awake at the same time and

Fuck you

No

Actually

I’m so fucking done with this bullshit

Fate?

They just want to point at you and laugh

There’s no joy

They create this sick twisted bullshit and then laugh when your mind can’t handle it I’m done

I’m done

I want to be dead.

Because he’s uninvolved and he’s unaffected and I’m suffering and he can’t even bother to help me

Fine

I get it

Defeat