Elucidating Questions

Hope is so fucking uncomfortable

I don’t know why humans do it

You can hope and hope all you fucking want nothing will ever come of it

Why do we even bother with all this shit?

God it’s all so fucking meaningless and stupid

I could hope he will suddenly decide I’m worth it and show me the time of day

Or that he falls in love with me

Or that the weather is nice

But what fucking good does hope do?

Oh I hope you feel better

Well you will or you’ll die so who the fuck cares

Why hope?

I won’t feel better I have a chronic disease so hoping I feel better makes as much fucking sense as hoping that the universe will wink out of existence and all this fucking useless uselessness will end

But it won’t will it?

So oh I hope that someday he’ll see how much I love him and fucking hell he won’t so what the fuck is the point of this painful wanting

Hope is yearning tainted with fucking poison

I hate having it I hate catching myself doing it I hate it

It’ll happen any fucking way

GEE I HOPE HE DOESN’T GO TO JAIL BUT THAT DOESN’T FUCKING HELP DOES IT?