Elucidating Questions

I want someone who I can hold

Who can hold on to me

I want someone who I can tell it’s okay

Who can do the same for me

I want someone who I can show all the parts of me that aren’t beautiful

I want someone whose everything I look at is beautiful

I want someone who I can give little gifts

I don’t want anything in return

I want someone who I can love all the little things about

Who wants to know the little things about me

So what do I need

Go ahead and tell me

Because I’m so wrong right?

I can’t have what I want right?

So someone who won’t let me hold them and someone who won’t love me and someone who won’t know me and someone who won’t see me

You’re telling me that’s what I need if I can’t have what I want right?

That’s the answer

I have to have no one

Because what I want doesn’t exist for me

I wanted to make it exist for someone else but it can’t be

Because sometimes what you want is not what you need

Haha shut up it hurts sharper every time like

You want it? You can’t have it

Nah nah nah

You can’t have it

But I want it so badly

Even a little bit

Why I can’t have it

I’ll never understand

And the tears are so hot streaming down my face but

But I want

I don’t need to be alone anymore

Please I’m begging not to be alone anymore

Please I beg of anyone to make me not be alone

I don’t need to be alone

I swear I swear I don’t need to be alone anymore please…