Elucidating Questions

It’s started

Do I tell them I’m crazy?

They’ll think I’m crazy anyways.

Anyone who doesn’t know your song won’t know what I did.

Anyone who does will hate it.

But that’s what happens when I can’t change the song and it hurts so I make my own words and then your words get lost

I do it all the time

Writing in my mind against the rhyme to fit the time the words grow and shrink

But I don’t even have to think they just pour out of me and I didn’t want it in me so it’s out

You don’t care

Or that look on your face I’ve never seen but I know you make

Sometimes I swear I hit publish and I hear you sigh

But that’s too damn bad because I’m usually crying and you’re usually living the good life

So you don’t get to complain or comment about my stupid unimportant sad sorry state of a life

Take that and don’t smoke it because I’ll be fucking mad if you do

But I’m drunk again so that says something too

I have a choice and I choose to drink it away so it goes away every day and I don’t care what that means for the

Oh the future and the state I’ll be in

Oh but I don’t want a future so I’ll be in the same state a little later a little closer to what I want because I can’t ever have what I want no not even a nod.

Not even a small hint.

Make up your fucking minds.

It’s not cute and I don’t like it and you can all go fuck yourself it feels like the tenth already

I don’t want it to be the fucking third of fucking October.

I want it to be over.

Over over over over over.

I don’t want it to be over.

But I want to be over.

I want him to live the rest of his life happy with his beautiful perfect girl and his beautiful perfect dog and his beautiful perfect fucking face.

I want to be over.

I’m so over this place.