Elucidating Questions

It’s so interesting to look at

The shape of the scars

The stab wounds are still so angry and pink

But the rest just make me sink into them

Never deep enough but there they stay

Looking like the knife just pressed into them

The lines still stay

Indented forever like the pieces of my heart

They aren’t even pretty like ribbons some of them I can’t tell apart.

The whispers on my left because my right was too weak

The one on the outside from when I got frustrated

It only looks like it was deep.

Not deep enough.

One looks like a tiny cross across the crisscrossing lines

The only lines I ever had control over

The only choice I have to make

Sometimes I look at it

Not once have I thought it was a mistake

Not like why

Now that it’s faded I wish I’d made it deeper because it was a damn good question and I wish I’d remember what caused it

But all these marks don’t add up to strength they add up to failure in my mind

When I see others’ scars I want to hold them and tell them I love them

But no one wants to do that

Not with me

I don’t want me

Why should anyone else?

All these failures

Just add up to scars with no tales.